


I'll try

by ItsDaNate



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Not Beta Read, References to Depression, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29452653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsDaNate/pseuds/ItsDaNate
Summary: This is a vent fic I wrote at 2:30 in the morning.
Kudos: 3





	I'll try

"Are you sure?" People asked when I told them the truth. "You're just confused." They would reason as they stood like a wall blocking out the sun. If my emotions were a room it would be empty and cold with cardboard decorations acting as a false mirror to reality. "It's just a phase, you'll grow out of this." Their hands lay like chains on my shoulders as they try to reassure me. 

"Why do you act like this!" I try to scream but my throat is closed all I can do is cry as I cling to them. "It's too late," I want to say, "I'm not changing who I am." I can see the fake smile as they look at my room the walls painted blue, pink and white.

"Is this not too much? I preferred it before." They're trying, I know they are so why does it hurt so much. Like every change they'll come around. Yet i still question, in the dark of my room, I try to paint over the colours with grey, it's what everyone wants. I want this too.

"It's okay," whispers a nameless person, "I'm like you. You don't have to hide, you shouldn't have to hide." 

"But how can I not?" I yell back. "They say they care and are trying. Should I not slow to their pace?" 

"Not if it hurts. Not if the picture you paint is bland and a copy of everyone else." The person reaches out. "Don't live the way they say you should. You aren't hurting anyone when you act yourself." 

"I am hurting them though. I'm throwing away what they gave me." I'm trying to reason. Why? Why am I trying to argue a point I know is hurting me.

"People change and grow, you say that you are throwing away what they gave you but you're not, you've just changed it for something that fits you better." The other person smiles. "It suits you more and that's what matters."

"I want to throw it all away." I whisper, my eyes hollow as I stare at the nameless person. Glass from the shattered lights in my room scattered the floor pushing against my feet leaving red lines I knew would fade in minutes. 

The nameless person stepped forward their eyes understanding. "So did I, but please don't. It sounds stupid I know but it gets better I promise."

The first tear slips down my face as I stand alone in a broken empty room. The walls smeared with blue, pink and white. A soft smile carved onto my face. I'm unsure if it's fake or real. 

"I'll try."


End file.
